As I am waiting

As I sit waiting for my plane at the airport, thinking about how my family might behave on this trip home. Will it be easy? Drama free? Or will I find myself regressing to old habits, irritability and stressed out to the Max.

What is it about family that makes us go back to our childhood? Well I guess the answer is quite simple, we often are controlled by our old out dated beliefs, habits and values. With this in mind, where do they come from? Hmmm yep, you guessed it, our parents, and as an adult we work so hard to become our own person, but when we go home, its like we are that little chid all over again.

When mum treats you like a child, by telling you how to do things. When Dad treats you like his baby, giving advice and opinions, they are taking your power from you. Much to our parents dismay we actually don’t need advice, and if we do, we can ask for guidance, but we don’t need unsolicited advice. Some times the boundaries between families are so thin we get triggered heavily by reliving traumas. People talking over one another, voicing their opinions, telling you what they want, but not really hearing what you need, its like sitting in a bath filled with dirty water, you cant keep yourself clean and clear.

So anxiety has already kicked in, what do i expect, who will annoy me first, will they even see me, or just cater to their own needs as usual and i will feel invisible like i did when i was 5years old. What can i do to protect myself?

Option 1: I dont speak, i go silent and i avoid conflict.

Option 2: I engage in conflict, i feel triggered, anxious and agitated. Like a female praying mantas wanting to rip the heads off her prey.

Option 3: I become like them, talking over them, trying to get my point across while all that really is happening is we are all feeding our own needs whilst not really taking in any information from the family around us. AKA DONT LISTEN, JUST TALK.

OR Option 4: Instead of reacting, feeling emotional, i take a deep breath, i take in all the things i have learned over the years, i try to communicate my boundaries clearly at the start of the trip and i remove myself from triggering conversations.

Easier said … Oops boarding now.

Here goes… Wish me luck